Early years
So, I started reading through my concepts and, this was what I recently discovered: that I am my own woman. That being a nurse here in Australia is quite different from what I experienced earlier.
Back in the Philippines, my profession was not that great- well, that was my experience simply because I felt that we have to obey/humour the doctors every now and then. I will not generally say that all doctors are mean or bad people but, there were those that I encountered who were better left off forgotten.
One memorable experience was when I was a student. It happened like this: I was assisting with an operation and when I mistakenly handed a mosquito forcep instead of a Kelly straight clamp, the surgeon suddenly threw all the instruments on my sterile tray- making a complete mess. My clinical instructor did not say anything apart from apologizing- that I was a student and, she made a lot of excuses on my behalf. Is my tiny mistake enough to make anyone throw such a colossal tantrum? I mean, yes, it was my fault that I handed over the wrong instrument but, its not that big of a deal I think.
Sometimes, when I look back on all those early years, it felt like I was inducted into a profession where our sole purpose in life is to humour and obey the physicians and everyone else. There were those moments in my early years as a nurse in the Philippines when I kept searching for a logical reason why I chose this profession. I felt so stressed up by, a lot of things. I felt overworked and under appreciated.
When I finally had my chance to work abroad, I thought that the set up was different. It was not.I met someone who was a radically religious person. It went like this: He asked me to get a consent form for one of our patients because, he needed to obtain consent for blood transfusion. This is a routine procedure and, I usually signed the form as a witness after their discussion with the male guardian ( yes, I mean, an adult female patient here- she is sound of mind. Its her unfortunate luck to be born a female!). When we were about to enter the patient's room, this doctor suddenly blurted out: you know what, you are not supposed to be signing up as a witness because your testimony is only half of a man's. Do you think you can find any male in the area who can be my witness? I responded that I was not really informed that my testimony is only half of that of a man's and that, this is not the first time that I served as a witness. In fact, the hospital management and, not even our unit manager had any specific instructions for us regarding the consents apart from signing off as a witness. Does he feel very uncomfortable having me as a witness because if so, I will inform my team leader who is also a female. He shut up after that. Well, I would have gone on and on but after this incident, I thought that perhaps, being a nurse and being a female might be the worst things that could ever happen to anyone.
Fast forward to the present and, a part of me felt that all the things that I have just written felt like it came out of my imagination. Sometimes, a part of me wanted to deny that experience because it just felt so discriminating or very offending. Honestly, the immediate impact with me was that, I resented being born a girl and choosing my profession. But, I guess, experience no matter how good or bad they are shaped me. I got over that hurdle a million years ago and, I think its just worth mentioning it because, it made me appreciate my position right now. I am not yet where I wanted to be but, I'll try to get there.I am really looking forward into a place where I can be who I wanted to be and not resent the fact that I am a nurse and a woman and, therefore, I am a second class if not third or fourth class citizen because of it.
Back in the Philippines, my profession was not that great- well, that was my experience simply because I felt that we have to obey/humour the doctors every now and then. I will not generally say that all doctors are mean or bad people but, there were those that I encountered who were better left off forgotten.
One memorable experience was when I was a student. It happened like this: I was assisting with an operation and when I mistakenly handed a mosquito forcep instead of a Kelly straight clamp, the surgeon suddenly threw all the instruments on my sterile tray- making a complete mess. My clinical instructor did not say anything apart from apologizing- that I was a student and, she made a lot of excuses on my behalf. Is my tiny mistake enough to make anyone throw such a colossal tantrum? I mean, yes, it was my fault that I handed over the wrong instrument but, its not that big of a deal I think.
Sometimes, when I look back on all those early years, it felt like I was inducted into a profession where our sole purpose in life is to humour and obey the physicians and everyone else. There were those moments in my early years as a nurse in the Philippines when I kept searching for a logical reason why I chose this profession. I felt so stressed up by, a lot of things. I felt overworked and under appreciated.
When I finally had my chance to work abroad, I thought that the set up was different. It was not.I met someone who was a radically religious person. It went like this: He asked me to get a consent form for one of our patients because, he needed to obtain consent for blood transfusion. This is a routine procedure and, I usually signed the form as a witness after their discussion with the male guardian ( yes, I mean, an adult female patient here- she is sound of mind. Its her unfortunate luck to be born a female!). When we were about to enter the patient's room, this doctor suddenly blurted out: you know what, you are not supposed to be signing up as a witness because your testimony is only half of a man's. Do you think you can find any male in the area who can be my witness? I responded that I was not really informed that my testimony is only half of that of a man's and that, this is not the first time that I served as a witness. In fact, the hospital management and, not even our unit manager had any specific instructions for us regarding the consents apart from signing off as a witness. Does he feel very uncomfortable having me as a witness because if so, I will inform my team leader who is also a female. He shut up after that. Well, I would have gone on and on but after this incident, I thought that perhaps, being a nurse and being a female might be the worst things that could ever happen to anyone.
Fast forward to the present and, a part of me felt that all the things that I have just written felt like it came out of my imagination. Sometimes, a part of me wanted to deny that experience because it just felt so discriminating or very offending. Honestly, the immediate impact with me was that, I resented being born a girl and choosing my profession. But, I guess, experience no matter how good or bad they are shaped me. I got over that hurdle a million years ago and, I think its just worth mentioning it because, it made me appreciate my position right now. I am not yet where I wanted to be but, I'll try to get there.I am really looking forward into a place where I can be who I wanted to be and not resent the fact that I am a nurse and a woman and, therefore, I am a second class if not third or fourth class citizen because of it.
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